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Writer's picturermsra53

KALANK! A REVIEW ITSELF!


PROS


That you are a human being. And you have a mind. And with that mind you can take decisions. And take the decision to not watch this movie. take it! RIGHT NOW!!!


CONS


Nothing bad. But the only con was that for the first time I doubted my ability to bear a movie till the end.


FUN FACT : Once there was a time people watched the movie and then came to know whether it was good or bad. Then came critics who told us whether the movie was good or bad. Now makers are itself giving us the reviews in movie titles itself

Eg- Zero,Kalank


Let me tell what the story is


Sonakshi loves Aditya and vice versa. Sonakshi is going to die. So she insists Alia to marry Aditya (why not!). Alia is married to Aditya, but Aditya still loves Sonakshi. So for Alia it is boring to seek love from her hubby. So she starts loving Varun and vice versa. But later it is revealed that Varun is faking his love. Sanju Baba is their to rekindle his relationship with his ex (both onscreen and offscreen). Sonakshi dies. So now Aditya has to find someone to love (Yes! that's how it works). So he tells Alia that since he needs someone for timepass. And Alia agrees. Guess what! Varun has now truly fallen for Alia but when Sanju and Madhuri insist him of staying away from Aditya and Alia, he first disagrees and then......plot wist......plot twist.......plot twist........YES! HE AGREES!!!!! Then Aditya feels that he is caring only for himself and not for Alia and tells Alia to go to Varun. But Alia now cares more for Aditya and Varun cares for both of them. And forget about caring, nobody even bothers to give a shit about the audience.

This is the whole story.


No doubt this movie crashed horrendously at the BO. It was made on a budget of 155 crores and it was justified by the visual appeal and the lavish sets.


The only person who saved me from brain tumor was one and only Arijit Singh. His songs were acting as medicines due to his soothing vocals. However his 2 songs are done away in the 1st half itself. Fortunately their effect is long lasting.


Sanjay Dutt's biopic made him a sensational topic. However it didn't reflected in his choice of scripts. He doesn't have much to act and does whatever he could. His character was the worst character ever written. Despite of getting married, he produces an illegitimate child from another woman. Leaves that woman alone. Throws that child away. Insult them and finally leaves his whole family (both jaayas and naajaayas) to die in the riots. and what excuse does he give? SOCIETY & CIRCUMSTANCES. Sigh! what a waste......wait a minute.....Ohhh!....remember any excuses.....AK56?.....(cough)......(cough)......(inspired by true events)


Madhuri Dixit is wasted. Simply wasted. First Total Dhamaal and now this. Except for showing her beauty and elegance, she doesn't have much to do.


Not that Varun Dhawan did overacting again, he was truly sincere in the initial parts and later even he understood what is the final product going to be anyway. So he again came back to his Varunardo DiCaprio avatar (overactor). This guy has the potential. Just needs more scripts like October and Badlapur.


Alia Bhatt seriously needs to come out of Kjo nepo-gang. She has proved her worth in Udta Punjab. Then why this? All she did was acting like a nepotism star with looking beautiful and doing nothing else. Literally she has nothing else to do in the film. Actually no one has anything to do in the film.


Aditya Roy Kapoor tried to do something like Ajay Devgn of HDDCS. And he miserably fails. In fact the script is that horrible that it even wastes an actor like him. Worst part is that he himself seems confused that why he took this role.


Sonakshi Sinha has barely 20 minutes role in the nearly 3 hour long film, and out of those 20 minutes, she cries for 10 minutes and makes us think during the other 10 minutes that why was she casted at the first place.


Kiara Advani was rumored to have a special appearance in a song only. However she is there for some more time and don't be happy, because the way she is used, it would have been better if they gave her only a cameo.


Kunal Khemu is literally the best part of the film and even he is in his worst form. He looks menacing as the villain and even tries his best with the horrible script. However only his acting makes you feel that you are watching a commercial film. Although an actor should never make you feel that he is acting (acting should be natural), but all these theories will not come to your mind when your condition is like "Water water everywhere Not a drop to drink"


Pawan Chopra, Hiten Tejwani and Achint Kaur are there just to fill the screen space.


When you hear 2 songs in the first 15 minutes only, you know that something is wrong and this was the signal this is not going to be a good one. But so bad!!! Seriously! So bad?? I don't know what were the writers thinking while writing the script and don't even want to know that in my wildest dreams. But the weed, the Producer was taking while finalizing it? Yes I want to know which was that weed. So that I could request the government to ban it right now! Dangerous Weed !!!!!


In the end, Alia Bhatt's character asks us- "aapne kya dekha?"

My reply- "BAHUT HARD BAHUT HARD"


For the first time I feel that negative numbers should be included in natural numbers.


0/5

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